Contractor in Heaven
A contractor dies on a fishing accident on his 40th birthday and finds himself greeted at the Pearly Gates by a brass band.
Saint Peter runs over, shakes his hand and says “Congratulations!”
“Congratulations for what?” asks the contractor
“Congratulations for what?” says Saint Peter. “We are celebrating the fact that you lived to be 160 years old.”
“But that’s not true,” says the consultant. “I only lived to be forty.”
“That’s impossible,” says Saint Peter, “we added up your time sheets!”